The Universal Tune

Johannes Kepler had solved everything. Kepler had written a classical, musical composition of many pages which described every interaction since the Beginning [1]. It explained the pattern in particle reactivity, galaxy formations, and pinpointed the exact orbits of every planet in existence. When Kepler died, every Earth astronomer dedicated their lives to continuing his work, adding harmonies and a background choir. It was because of this work that the Human race thrived, it gave them a sort of superpower to maneuver around the earth’s movements and cycles; natural disasters had minimal effect on the race as they knew what would happen millions of years in advance. They knew what would cause future disaster, so they intervened according to the music; eventually natural disasters stopped altogether. 

Physics was solved. 

After a very short amount of time on the scale of the universe (but many many lifetimes on the scale of earth humans) the nature of life, too, was determined by the notes of the song. Each individual personality was known; it could be heard how they would interact with other individuals; if one listened closely enough; every word said by every person in the past, present, and future could be sensed as a faint utterance. 

 Once the song was perfectly perfected, all intelligent life on the planet imploded, no mind on earth was ever designed to comprehend the intricacies of the universe. The beings became billions of small shiny-space-dust particles which settled into a thin layer covering the planet, essentially suffocating all that once thrived. And that is how earth became a dead planet. Meanwhile, the three other life forms in the universe came to this conclusion as well, one before and two shortly after the death of the humans.

On the planet named Maa, lived one of the few colonies of intelligent life to ever exist up until that point. Their society was not far from that of Earth circa – what they called – the 1960s but with technological advancements far beyond Earth’s imagination. The people who called themselves the Inimenes lived in a matrix of grey boxes whose size varied depending on how many Inimenes inhabited it. They had a governmental structure which assigned very specific roles for each person based on the size of their thumbs. There were never any rebellions because everyone had their position and so were content. The classical composition was known to the people; they were taught to hear themselves within it and act based on their desire to do what made them most content. All was in the song, everything was known, everyone was tranquil and pleased in a universe without free will.

The music was different now. All that ever was, all that is, and all that would be had changed from a classical melody to an intense jazz scatt battle between an old dog and a young up-and-comer. For a brief fraction of a non-existently, infinitesimally small amount of time, the universe shrunk down to the size of a pea and re-created the big bang. Only this time, the big bang banged differently, changing every mathematic and scientific rule known and unknown. Much of existence became sporadic and unpredictable. Planets still orbited but in unusual ways. Galaxies still galax-ed except upside down, inside-out and backwards. 

The nature of intelligent life was not affected by the new music; however, they were no longer limited by the predictable nature of existence, they could now make decisions independent of their nature. All this happened in an instant when the music changed. Only nothing had technically changed since this scatt battle had recently always been. All beings of the universe, three colonies in total, had discovered free will far too quickly to comprehend the importance of decision-making skills. 

All three societies had swiftly created 315 different gambling opportunities; races, card games, fights to the death resembling the battles in the ancient coliseums of a long-lifeless terrestrial planet orbiting a star named Sol, and so forth. The most elite of these establishments rested atop a floating island about 40 meters above the planet’s crust so no one could so easily burst in without admittance. If one were to take a walk on almost any part of the three planets, they would be just a stone's throw from any kind of immoral activity, it should be noted however that at this time intelligent life hadn’t quite discovered the value of morals as before the change of tune, morality was superfluous.

These three nations had once lived at opposite ends of the universe, far out of sight of any telescope, prohibiting them from ever getting in contact with each other. Since the change of tune, the three planets suddenly appeared in a single orbit around the star 5775-Lacertae-45c [2] within that matter of a non-existent short unit of time previously mentioned. Not long after this happened, the nation’s leaders met on a large spacecraft for tea. Of course, while this was happening, the people of these colonies were taking every advantage to learn the meaning of the free will they suddenly found within them. Hence the hedonistic obsession with gambling. All worked well together to create a perfectly uncomfortable scenario filled with legal crime and an overall complete disorder and confusion. 

The three forms of intelligent life were all arthropodal. They were three nations on three separate planets. They called themselves Cilvēk, Mmadụ, and Inimene. You could tell exactly which planet one grew up on based on their physical appearance. The Cilvēks of the planet Zemes were on average eight feet tall and lean. They weren’t a particularly bright race, but they took pride in their warriors, although they had yet to fight in a real war as conflict had never been an issue. The Mmadụs of the planet Ụwa were shorter and plumper, they were hard workers and thought through every decision with a pro-con list on canary yellow, 4” by 6”, ruled notepads [3]. The Inimenes of Maa were essentially the same as the humans of Earth, terribly selfish and too intelligent for their own good. 

The jazz scatt vocal of the universe seemed to ask for this dishonourable new society with its unpredictable and next to impossible patterns. Prior to this change, life had functioned based on each individual’s disposition configured at birth. If one was born with a driven personality, all of one’s actions would be a direct result of that drive. Perhaps someone with this drive would advance far in their career, maybe they would create a cure for a disease, something for the well-being of others. These seemingly altruistic actions gave the appearance of selflessness, when really that person was just acting out of their own predetermination to solve a problem. Their actions remained self-oriented despite that the result may help others. With the old music, these sorts of things almost always helped another, or at least helped uphold a peace in the universe, but now the music went to a different beat. It was the first time in existence that living things could make decisions despite their proclivities. 

One cloudy day, Jim Oødoa of the Inimenes significantly did a relatively [4] insignificant act [5]. It was through this act that the beings became aware of another thing 

that had changed since the scatt had existed; free will allowed one to sacrifice for another. Now, individuals could act unconstrained by their nature.

Saul was an inchworm.

 He lived his life snacking on leaves in the sun on the planet Ilo. 

Ilo was a very small planet according to Saul; Saul could inch his way across it in one Ilo day. There was indeed life on this planet, but it would be difficult to argue that the life was intelligent. It was covered in shrubs and inchworms. The dirt was purpleish [6]. Not much else was notable about this object.

One afternoon, Saul was snacking away as Saul did every day and a thought popped into Saul’s head. I do not often have thoughts, Saul pondered. I wonder where this thought may have come from. Oh look, there was another thought. Well, I suppose you can’t really look at a thought anyways. Wait, what was I thinking about? Oh yeah, right. I was thinking; why did I just decide to bite that bite of the leaf there? I turned to this side but why didn't I turn to that side? I definitely want to take a bite of this leaf right there, so I think i’ll just do tha– no. I am going to bite this part instead… wow, tasted totally different. This bite was much leafier. Now I think I'll bite here… so I will bite there instead of where I would have normally bitten. Cool. this is fun.

It was at that moment that the usual humnof the universe changed pitch. 

It was almost as if the song had changed.


1. (a) Was once known as the Big Bang on the planet called Earth. (b) The beginning of the universe, not to be confused with The Beginning the band who plays the classical melody on tour around other universes whom are designed to comprehend its complexity. [Back]

2. 5775-Lacertae-45c is a B-type main sequence star with 13 planets in its orbit. Prior to the change of music, there were 10 planets in orbit around the star, 4 of which were gas giants, 6 of which were terrestrial planets (5 of which were in the goldilocks zone), but when the music changed, the planets known as Zemes, Ụwa, and Maa appeared in its system as well. The three planets were equal distance away from the star as well as equal distance away from each other. Civilizations on the planets travelled between via spacecraft. [Back]

3. This created a huge problem for them at one time as their planet’s trees were all torn down for these lists. Eventually, the recycling pits where they tossed used lists became dense with the weight and created a new element, Arbitrium, from which they could create more notepads. Many riots happened during the sticky-note shortage of that epoch. [Back]

4. Since no one else cared. [Back]

5. Later, many stories were told about what it was that Oødoa did. The true account is this:

Oødoa was winning an exceptional game of bingo against some of the richest Cilvēks of the three planets. He had four in a row, G1, G2, G3, and G5, and could see the fifth bingo ball rolling down the pike. He knew it was G4. That was when he heard a scream. When he looked up, no one seemed to pay the screeching noise any mind. He was puzzled as to why he was the only one who appeared to be bothered. When he turned his head, he saw a young Cilvēk dangling from the edge of the island (It should be noted that this game was being played atop the floating island, where the most infamously high-staked games were held). Oødoa didn’t know what rushed through him at that moment but he leapt from his seat and bolted to the edge of the island. He grabbed the Cilvēk’s hand but he was too heavy, there was no way he could pull him up. That was when a waitress appeared on the scene. She grabbed the Cilvēk’s other hand. Together, they pulled him up and onto safe ground. During this whole commotion, no other Cilvēk, Mmadụ, or Inimene had even looked up, they felt that this event did not affect them and was not any of their business, especially since the highest ranking player (Oødoa) had quit the game, increasing their chances to win the jackpot. [Back]

6. Saul once wondered why the leaves Saul ate weren’t purple too, but that was quite a while ago and it hadn’t crossed Saul’s mind since. [Back]